New Year’s Resolutions-And Why They Don’t Work

It’s that time of year again. That time where we begin reflecting on the previous year’s up and downs. What we achieved, what we’re still working towards and what took us completely by surprise. Many of us make resolutions every year, but why is it that so many of us fail to follow through with them? When was the last time you saw your resolution through to the end? For me the answer is NEVER! Resolutions have never worked for me. They obviously aren’t the answer to making real, lasting changes that actually stick. So what is?

Resolutions vs Intentions

Resolutions

Think of resolutions as strict, concrete goals that you set for yourself. It’s something you either achieve or you don’t. There’s not really much middle ground when it comes to them. And usually they come from a more negative minded place. They tend to put the focus on what we don’t like about ourselves and want to change.

But making real changes in our lives is a process. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Change takes time. Good habits need to be repeated consistently until they become second nature. They take effort, commitment and forgiveness (for those times when you veer from the tracks a bit). You wont be 100% perfect right from the beginning. But resolutions don’t really provide the time and space that’s needed to make real change. And that’s where intentions come in

Intentions

Intentions focus more on the process itself. Think of them more as the why behind what it is you are wanting to achieve. It’s a shift in mindset. Making yourself more open and willing to create (and actually keep) these new, positive habits in place.

Below are a few examples to help bring this idea home:

Example

Resolution: Go on a diet to lose weight.

Intention: To eat healthier foods and nourish your body so you can live a healthier lifestyle.

Example

Resolution: Exercise more.

Intention: Workout to feel good, not to be thinner.

As you can see from the above examples, the resolution is the concrete goal you want to achieve and both examples have a more negative undertone.

While the intention focuses more on the idea itself and the why behind it. Why do you want to achieve this? What do you get out of it? Both intentions invoke a more positive mindset.

I use intentions as helpful, positive daily reminders to keep me on track and moving towards whatever it is I’m working to achieve. Intentions help me get more focused. They help me get more specific about why I’m setting these goals in the first place.

How Setting Intentions Helped Me Create Positive, Lasting Changes

I’ve never been able to keep a New Year’s Resolution past the end of January. But intentions have helped me make impactful, positive life changes that have actually lasted. Let me take you all the way back to 2019. To put it frank, I was a mess. I absolutely hated my job to the point where it was starting to affect my personal life. Crying in the car on my way to work became my morning ritual. I knew what I was going through wasn’t healthy and I needed to make some real changes before the stress and anxiety consumed me.

But I was scared. Scared I wouldn’t find a job that paid equally as well. Scared it would be even worse than where I was currently (yeah, I actually thought this). And downright completely terrified of just up and quitting without a back-up plan (would love to be more spontaneous with things like this. Not quite there yet. Envious of all who are).

And on top of that there was the overwhelming feeling of guilt that would constantly creep in. The guilt of having a job that paid relatively well, that allowed me to do the things I loved doing outside of work and yet I still felt so resentful. I found myself not able to fully enjoy the things I once loved. All I could think about was how tomorrow I’d be back in that soul-crushing place they call an office. I knew I needed to begin looking at other career options, but I also knew I needed to work on myself in the meantime. So for 2020 I decided to set 2 intentions:

1) Bring more gratitude into my life

2) Find creative ways to handle stress.

So I bought a journal and began to work on intention #1. And every day I wrote. I wrote about how my day was, what some of my wins were and what I was grateful for. It forced me to really dig deep so I wasn’t repeating the same ole things each time.

To fulfill my second intention, I began diving more into my meditation practice. I’d done it here and there, but never on a consistent basis. I promised myself to do them both daily even if I could only give 10 minutes to the exercise. But those 10 minutes a day changed everything. To the point where I craved that feeling I felt afterwards and wanted more. I began writing more than ever and upping my meditation practice to 15-20 minutes a day.

And guess what?

I’m still doing both to this day! A whopping 2 years later! The first time in my life I’ve made a real commitment to myself and actually kept it! And not only that, but these have also became everyday, healthy habits I’ve set in place for myself. That’s how powerful setting intentions can be.

It’s Ok To Not Be Perfect All The Time

And let me be very honest, I didn’t write and meditate every single day. I’m not that perfect. Life would inevitably show up to disrupt my plans like it sometimes does, but the point is I stuck with them. They have both become a huge part of my life and I owe it all to setting an intention and sticking with it. I felt far more calm and grounded and overall happier about life. Work still absolutely sucked, but I found my way through it. I have since left that soul sucking job and moved on to other ventures, but that’s a story for another day.

I hope this helps you to look at goal setting for the new year in a different light. Remember to take a little time to really think about what it is you want out of this coming year. Think about what you want to achieve and how you want to feel. Once you discover what it is you truly want, ask yourself why? Why do you want to meet this goal this year? What do you want to gain from it? Asking yourself these simple questions will get you well on your way to creating your very first New Year’s Intention.

So what are your New Year’s Intentions going to be this year? Comment below and let me know!